Today my friend E is having a lump removed from her breast. For at least two months now she’s been avoiding this day.
“I’d rather die of cancer than have a horrible scar across my boob” she has said over and over.
I know she doesn’t mean that – I hope she doesn’t mean that. Second opinions, third opinions, rescheduling appointments and denying the reality, it finally took her mom moving in with her, refusing to leave, to get her to this day.
Everyday I ask her how she’s doing and everyday she looks at me with tears in her eyes. I want to do something but there is nothing I can do. I give her a hug and send her flowers knowing it will do little to ease her mind. We could go out for drinks, I could bake her something, but that only makes me feel better.
I can’t imagine what she is going through. I can’t say I know how she feels. I tell myself and I assure her a scar is nothing compared to her life. But it is her womanhood and she will be changed forever.
So today, on this Love Thursday, all my thoughts and love are going out to her. May she get through surgery and may that be the end of it. May her scars heal and her mind be at ease. May she find strenghth and peace in the days and months to come.
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